Alone
by Galinda01
Summary: When Risa seeks out Satoshi Hiwatari one cold winter night, all she is looking for is a little bit of comfort. How was she to know there was someone else who was so much more alone than she? ONESHOT!


Alone

Disclaimer: I don't own DN Angel. But you already knew that, right?

Ugh. She couldn't believe she was doing this. Not only was snowing, and she hadn't even thought to bring a jacket, but she was alone, on the streets, in the middle of the night! She was absolutely insane. Even when she got to Hiwatari's house, he was very likely to simply turn her away. That was the type of person he was.

Even though they were friends, he was still icy toward her sometimes. She could tell she got on his nerves all the time, but he still let her hang around with him. As long as she was quiet, or at least, didn't disturb him while he was reading or painting, he would tolerate her presence. Sometimes they even talked about personal things . . . like Krad.

Still . . . old habits die hard, and Hiwatari could still tell her off in an instant. She was certain that the last thing he wanted was for her to show up at his house at midnight in nothing but her pajamas and a pair of houses shoes, especially if the only reason she was there was to complain and be comforted. That was taking their friendship just a little too far.

Whatever the case, it was too late to turn back now. She was already at his house. The chill had seeped in through her pink pajamas and was now eating away at her. Numb hands knocked on the door of the apartment she had only been to once. She wrapped her arms around herself, shivering. For a minute she was afraid he wouldn't answer, but finally the door was wrenched open by a very confused Satoshi Hiwatari.

" . . . Harada?" He took in her appearance. "What are you . . . did you _walk _here?!"

"Y-Yes." She said, her teeth chattering. "I'm sorry, Hiwatari . . . I just needed someone to talk to . . . I-"

She immediately felt a coat draped around her shoulders as he yanked her into the apartment. His arm draped around her shoulder, and she felt a certain thrill run through her. _"No. Bad Risa. Satoshi Hiwatari is not your guy. He practically hates you."_ So why had she chosen to go to him looking for comfort? Oh yeah . . . because she had no one else to turn to.

"You're freezing." He said, leading her to the couch. "I can't believe you walked here."

"I know . . ." She said, as they sat down. "It was stupid. But I just . . ." She looked up at him. His face was pale, and there were lines under his eyes. "Oh . . . Hiwatari . . . I woke you up, didn't I?"

"No. I was still awake. " He nodded over to the glowing screen of a computer, then looked at her apologetically. "I would . . . offer you hot chocolate . . . but I don't have any. Do you like tea?"

"Yes . . . but you don't have to make anything for me." She said, but he stood up.

"I'll be back in a moment." Hiwatari walked into the kitchen, leaving her alone. Again. Alone. Always alone. A wave of self pity washed over her again. Dark had left her . . . Riku was too wrapped up in Daisuke to notice her . . . her parents were away and she had a sneaking suspicion that Ritsuko was talking about her behind her back. She was so . . . _alone_.

A tear trickled down her cheek. Dark . . . why did he leave? Why did everyone she cared about leave her? More despondency overcame her, and she began a full out crying session. Life was so unfair! Why did all these bad things have to happen to _her_?

"Harada!" Hiwatari was at her side in an instant. "I was only gone for a minute! What happened?"

"I-I-I'm just so . . . so . . . alone!" She cried. "No one cares about me anymore!"

"What?" He looked at her in shock.

"W-with Dark gone, there's no one else who loves me!"

He stared at her for a minute. "Don't you think . . . erm . . . your sister would be a better person to have this conversation with?"

"Oh, _she _won't care." Risa said. "She probably wouldn't even listen." This made her cry harder.

"What makes you say that?' Satoshi asked. She sniffled.

"She's got Daisuke now . . . so she acts like I don't even exist!"

"Oh . . . I see."

"What do you see?"

". . ." he sighed. "You're jealous of Daisuke."

"What? That's ridiculous. I couldn't care less that she spends time with him. I just wish she would notice _me_ once in a while. I just wish_someone _would notice me!" She took a deep breath and started crying again.

" . . . You're kidding, right?'

"What?"

"You're the most popular girl in school. _Everyone_ notices you."

"Then why do I feel so alone?!" She gasped. "Sometimes . . . sometimes I think about running away . . . just to see if anyone would notice."

" . . . That's the stupidest thing I've ever heard!" He was angry. She had never heard him sound angry. Cold and callous, yes, but never angry. She didn't like it. He took her face in his hands and made him look into his icy blue eyes. "_You _have a family that loves you! You have a large house filled with laughter! You have friends at school! You have people that _want _to be around _you_, who's days are brightened just because you're around! _And_ you have someone who loves you. Who loves everything about you . . . who would give anything to ensure your safety, even if it means he had to act like he didn't like you!" He stopped. She could tell by the look on his face that he had said more than he had intended.

"H-Hiwatari . . ." She whispered. He looked like he was about to say something, but the kettle started whistling in the kitchen. He looked over his shoulder, then back at her.

"I'll be right back." He said, his voice barely above a whisper. He looked miserable as he stood and walked into the kitchen, shutting the door behind him. For a second she stared at the door, then her gaze turned to the rest of his apartment. It was huge, really. Too big for one person. Too empty. His words haunted her. _"You _ have a family that loves you. A large house . . . filled with laughter." Had laughter _ever _echoed off the walls of this apartment? Had he ever come home after school to find someone waiting for him with open arms, ready to comfort him if he had a bad day?

_"I've been so stupid."_ she realized with a start. _"Hiwatari has been alone for years . . . but he never complained . . ." _She put a hand to her mouth as the tears returned. _"Oh . . . Hiwatari . . . how could I have not known? How could no one have noticed how alone you really are? Is Daisuke the only person you have?"_ She couldn't believe it. And had he really just admitted to her that he loved her? _Could_ someone like him love someone like her?

The door to the kitchen opened. Satoshi came out carrying a cup of hot tea in his left hand. He stopped in the doorway though, and stared at her.

"Are . . . are you crying again?" He rushed to her side, but she stood up. "Harada . . . was it something I-" She cut him off by flinging her arms around his neck and crashing her lips against his. There was a sound of shattering glass as the mug slid from his hand, but neither of them noticed as his arms wrapped around her and pulled her closer to him.

One of his hands twined into her hair while the other crushed her body against his. Oh . . . my. Dark had _never _kissed her like this before! There had never been so much longing . . . so much passion . . . when he kissed her. She knew from the moment he captured her in his strong embrace and held her like he would never let her go that this was something Hiwatari had wanted for a long time.

Damn the need for air. They broke apart and Hiwatari stepped away from her in shock. " . . . H-Harada . . .why did . . . why did you do that?"

"Because I . . ." She sniffled, on the verge of tears again. "I never knew. I never knew how completely alone you must feel! I never knew how much I had, how many people really cared for me! And I never knew . . . that you were one of those people." She started crying. "You must get terribly lonely, Hiwatari! You must . . . you must feel so alone!"

" . . . Sometimes." Murmured Hiwatari, not looking at her. "Sometimes . . . it gets lonely."

"I'm . . . I'm sorry, Hiwatari!" She cried and threw herself at him again. This time her arms latched around his chest as she sobbed into his shirt. "I wish . . . I wish I had known! I wish I had . . . I wish there was something I could do! I mean . . . you're my friend . . . I should've known. I'm so sorry."

"Don't pity me." He said gruffly, putting his hands on his shoulders. He pushed her away from him. "And don't kiss me just because you feel sorry for me. I'd rather spend the rest of my life alone than have you pretend to like me out of pity."

"H-Hiwatari . . . I would never kiss you out of pity!" She said, staring up at him in disbelief. "Did it seem like that to you? Did it seem like it didn't mean anything when I kissed you?!"

"I just don't see any other reason for you to do it." Hiwatari's voice was quiet.

"Jeez, Hiwatari." She shook her head. "You can be really dense sometimes."

" . . . What is_ that _supposed to mean?" He replied irritably. She just smiled.

"It means, Hiwatari, that I kissed you for _my own_ selfish reasons. It wasn't because I wanted to make you feel better. It was because I wanted to make _me _feel better." She closed her eyes, a soft smile still on her face. "I wanted to see if . . ." She stopped.

"If what?"

"I wanted to see . . . if you cared about me . . . as much as I hoped you did." She swallowed. "Because I thought that maybe . . . hopefully . . . when you said that you knew _someone_ loved me . . . I thought that you might have been talking about yourself . . ." She blushed bright red and looked down. "Sorry! Sorry, it was a stupid thought!"

A dense silence hung between them. She waited for him to reject her, to tell her she was an idiot. She waited for him to order her out of his apartment, but the command never came.

"No . . . it wasn't stupid." When he finally spoke, his voice was more gentle than she had ever heard. He stepped toward her again and lifted her chin. "I was talking about myself, of course." He leaned down to kiss her.

"Hiwatari . . ." She whispered against his lips.

"No . . . It's Satoshi." He corrected.

"Satoshi . . ." Echoed Risa. She felt him smile as he kissed her, and she couldn't help smiling in return. Satoshi Hiwatari. Who would've thought? Who would've _imagined _that Satoshi Hiwatari would ever like someone like her? The truth was . . . she had liked him for so long . . . but never imagined she actually stood a chance with him!

In one swift movement he sank down onto the sofa, taking her with him. She landed on top of him, and their lips collided again in an explosion of passion and hormones and pent up emotions.

"Risa . . . " He breathed her name in her ear as his hands glued themselves to her hips . "Risa . . ." God . . . the way he said her name sent shivers coursing down her spine. He kissed her jaw, then her neck. Her breath and she tilted her head to the side to give him more access. Her fingers played in his silken hair as he kissed her. ". . . I love you." He murmured into her throat. Her breath caught.

"Satoshi . . . I." She stopped and looked at him. _Really_ looked at him. "I love you too."

She expected some mushy reply, but Satoshi Hiwatari said the exact opposite.

"W-We need to call your sister . . ." He said, straightening his glasses. When she looked confused, he added "She'll be worried when she wakes up and you're not at your house."

"Huh?"

"You don't think I'm going to let you go back out in this weather! You'll stay here . . . won't you?" He looked at her, his eyes pleading her to stay with him. It wasn't a smutty request. She knew he wouldn't try anything. He was a gentleman.

"Of course. Of course I'll stay tonight." She smiled at him. It was hard to believe . . . she had come to his house looking for comfort, but instead of finding a shoulder to cry on she had found another lonely soul searching for love. For _her. _

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_Crappy? Corny? Confusing? Sorry if it is. I'm scatterbrained right now. It's my first one-shot . . . so . . . you know . . . give me advice on what I can fix. And if you liked it . . . well . . . please say so! Reviews are greatly appreciated!!!  
_


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